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You are here » Teacherovi's English Forum » Unpleasant » A waste of time

A waste of time

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Dear diary,
All these months..of hard work, of hard child labor of mental torture. It was all for nothing, NOTHING I tell you. I wasted so much time on working on that good-for-nothing painting. Never have I ever felt so under appreciated by those so-called critics. They dared calling my beautiful ballerina that danced under the night sky, a : “peeled banana that floats in space”. I mean...how could you actually say that to someone that spent so much time and put so much effort into creating something, only to be hit in the face by the harsh criticism. I was filled with so much anger at that moment that I wanted to take my painting and whirl it towards one of the critics so that I could at least turn it into a useful weapon. And after all those mixed feelings of anger, sadness and frustration, I, myself, started hating the poor painting. I was so demoralized that I stoped painting. Not because of the fear of failing again but because my hands just stopped working accordingly. It was like all my talent had gone down the drain and I was left with nothing but the imagination and the inability to put it down on the canvas. All in all, I feel disappointed for letting myself be dragged down by that and think that it was a waste of time, which I have to sadly admit that it was proved to be one in the end. And a waste of talent, literally.



I really understand what you felt. I myself had the same experience. But after years of not creating anything, I understood that you make art for you, not for others. You see so many paintings in galleries that have nothing special about them, but just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean others can't either. We will never like our own work because we always want perfection, but there is no perfection. Life is flawed and that makes it so beautiful. At the end of the day, there is no right and wrong, especially in art, it's only what you feel. If you are proud of a yellow square drawn on a piece of paper, but that you gave meaning, that is worth more than any Mona Lisa. Because no one will ever understand what you have to say like you do. But, just between you and I, I am sure you are a wonderful artist. Don't let anyone take away your love for something only because they say you are not good enough. You are always good enough.



you shouldn't have let people's words get you down. I know it's easy to say that, and it's harder to do it, but you need to learn to have thick skin, because sooner or later someone's gonna see your art for what it truly is



It's a terrible situation, but unfortunately I can't share your feelings for I have never been through such situations.
My best advice for you would be, I think, to try to find "the golden middle" in all of this. Of course, it's not right for a hard work to be so much underappreciated, but I think it would be wiser to notice only the reproaches that are truly directed to the painting. What I try to say is the fact that you should somehow manage to see the real bad points of your drawing, by analysing it by yourself and then discussing with the "critics". And, of course, I don't find it right to end your possible career as a painter just because a group of "so-called critics" has criticised so badly your work. You know that you are capable of improvement, so work for it!
Good luck! :)


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