I feel like everything is falling apart. I wasted so much time with him and I forgot how to live, I wasted a part of my life because of him.
We met a few months ago in a bar he was really happy and I was sad. I was sitting alone in a corner when he approached me. I didn’t know how to react but I was so desperate so I said yes and he was very polite he bought me something to drink and I was starting to feel a little less uncomfortable but I was still getting that bad vibe but I chose to ignore it.
We hanged out a lot and I don’t know why but from the first time we had this connection like we’ve met before. I felt like we have something special but I was wrong he was just an obstacle in my way and I can’t believe it took me so much to realize what a fool I was for giving him attention. All he wanted to do was to shatter me and forget about me.
We started getting really close and like that he made me fall for him. He had such a good time making fun of me and that was my mistake I let him do that because I was a fool. He just wasted my time but it was my bad because I gave him all of my time I don’t know why. I’m a really emotive person and I just wanted affection and maybe his attention and affection made me fall for him.
A few weeks passed by and I was still not getting what he was doing all the love I carried for him was making me blind. I wasted my time with him because that’s what we’ve been doing we’ve just been wasting time. We used to meet in a park have stupid conversations and tease each other for hours. Now when I look back it makes me sick of my stomach, he makes me sick of my stomach.
Another week passed by and I was so sure that he was feeling the same as me that he was so deeply in love like me but I was wrong he was a liar and all he wanted was to see me suffer and he get what he want. I told him how much I love him and of course he was not feeling the same.
Another two weeks passed by and I was in so much pain, not physical pain a different kind of pain that I’ve never felted before and that pain was killing me from the inside out. I didn’t know what to do I’ve lost my friends because of him and I was all alone trying to get better. But what am I supposed to do? How do I get better if I never felt that before and I didn’t know how to solve it?
Another two weeks passed by and here I am in front of a laptop writing an anonymously post hoping that someone will read it and will understand what I’ve been through and why I might act a little weird sometimes. But I’m good now I’m trying to get back the time I wasted on him even though I can’t. And if there is anyone out there who is going through this now you need to know that “Everything’s ‘gonna be alright everything’s ‘gonna be okay it’s ‘gonna be a good good life that’s what my therapist says” and you will always have that one friend that no matter what you do he’s going to be there for you so stay strong.