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You are here » Teacherovi's English Forum » Wonderful » Discovering a new place (just clickbait)

Discovering a new place (just clickbait)

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unrelated to the story but why does the site appear as "Not secure"
also this is an imaginary place, but in this fictional world I discover for the first time so basically it counts ok

He said to meet at the “Bar with No Name”. The sirens are wailing behind me as I keep running. I can’t stop, they’ll catch up. I mean, I am innocent and all that, but cops these days don’t care about arguments, they’ll arrest anybody on the streets as long as they even look where they shouldn’t.
I’m running through a dark alley. I think I’ve lost them, and the bar should be pretty close. I manage to breathe in my surroundings, and I see the low-lifes you would normally see at this time of night in this part of town. I don’t stop to look at them, though, but I try to blend in as much as possible. I take a few cuts and turns and I reach a wider backalley, illuminated by neon signs. One of them reads “The Bar With No Name”, and a tough-looking fellow is standing next to a big, metal, probably bulletproof door. I walk up to him, and he throw... a glance at me as if I’m one of them. I’m not. Or am I?
I whisper the name “Edge…” into the guy’s earpiece, and the heavy door opens, revealing a dimly-lit corridor. This is getting interesting. As soon as I enter, the only exit closes behind me, leaving me in the dark pink hallway. I am surrounded by invisible speakers, letting out some sort of synthwave. It calms me for a second, as I forget for a second what I’m supposed to do, but as soon as I reach the end of the hallway I spot a flight of stairs that lead, weirdly down, into the main area of what I can only call a club: lights moving in every direction, a dancefloor with neon colors, and a forceful set of sounds which some people call dubstep. This is all new, but, somehow, I remember it from somewhere. Something new, something old. A sense of Déjà vu captures my mind, but I keep walking. I spot the counter, and a bartender with a funny moustache serving drinks to the business-men of Nebula, out for a night on the town. I approach him, and order an Absinthe on the Rocks. Then, I think that after about 3 or 4 shots I black out...

Always came back to that place. It was sort of a haven for me. Whenever I had trouble, the cops on me or I just wanted to sit back and relax, I went to the “Bar With No Name”. Always had a good time, enjoying how the millionaire playboys were trying to make ............the most of their cash by hitting on young, impresionable girls, and low-lifes in the back of the club, waiting for a chance to get in, to experience the lifestyle of the rich. And, caught in the middle of all this, me, neither rich nor poor, but a Runner, trying to get money to survive from one day to the next, and living my life to the fullest, until it abruptly ended...But that’s a story for another time.

Last edited by AidenJacks (2019-02-23 14:30:51)



Your story was pretty captivating. Probably because poor lighting makes it seem mysterious. It was fascinating, compelling, engrossing, gripping, intriguing and all the other synonyms of interesting. But (there is always a but), I had no idea where you or the character came from and what led to this part of the journey. Maybe that's my problem, but for me it's confusing because the action doesn't seem to connect to anything else. You really have a talent for writing and the topics we get don't let it show that much, but I hope that by the the end of high school you make this into a multiple - chapter story and let others read it. BTW why is it clickbait?



Cristina.without.h wrote:

BTW why is it clickbait?

because it isn't, but by putting "just clickbait" in the title i made people click it just to find out why it is clickbaity, in turn creating a paradox in which it is actually clickbaity because people clicked on it to find out why it was clickbaity



I love how detailed everything is and it really makes me want to read more. The entire story has this enigmatic atmosphere and I like that. Everything just seems real, the characters, the places...You are so talented at writing and I really want to see a whole book set into this world.


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