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You are here » Teacherovi's English Forum » Everyday stuff » An argument in family


An argument in family

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It's weekend. I decided to go at to my friend's house because we havehasn't seen each other for a long time. Another reason was that today is her birthday.
     After we greeted each other and hugged, we went to her room. (When we met, a moment ago, I felt like something wasn't alright.) There was no friend or party, so I asked her if everything was okay but she changed the subject. I didn't asked more and we started playing.
     After a while her mother asked Laura, my friend, to come ......to her . From her room I could hear, involuntarily, how they were fighting. After two seconds of quiet a very strong sound of a door closing startled me. I went downstairs and then her mother explained everything to me.
     I searched for her hours and finally I found Laura next to the park's fountain. She explained to me her version of the incident. The problem was that yesterdaybefor she washad been alone in the house and stayed on her phone all the time until her mother came home. When she came she found out that her new and exotic vase was broken. I decided to help her to prove her innocence. Because I came up with this idea, I told her that from now on, until we find the culprit, I would be the most brilliant detective that had ever lived.
     We came atto the crime scene where I found a black hair(Laura and her mother are blond) so I asked her if she had a pet. The answer(which was no) made me look around, until aI found an open window. I looked outside on the window I saw next to the tree, that was very near the window, a group of kittens and right next to them there was their blank fur mother. Mistery solved. To be sure we went in the kitchen, where was Laura's mother too, to see if something from the table were was missing. And there ...they were! The two sausages from yesterday (which Laura was supposed to had eaten) weren't inon the plate.
     We explained everything to her mother, she apologied for not listened to her and ME the GREAT DETECTIVE was very satisfied because it was my first case and it was a great success!

Last edited by Sparkly mermaid (2019-01-29 10:06:21)

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The idea in your writing is pretty cool, and that’s why I think it would’ve been better if you developed it more. It felt a little bit too rushed. I appreciate the originality you brought, but I feel like you deviated a little from the topic. Try and pay more attention to your grammar, ‘cause I’m sure you can and will improve this aspect. Besides that, everything is good. Your text is pretty well structured and I know you’ll get better at writing as you do it more, like all of us.  Keep doing it and you’ll get to be the best! ;)

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