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You are here » Teacherovi's English Forum » Unusual » not your average friend meet-up


not your average friend meet-up

Posts 1 to 4 of 4

1

Jesus, it’s 2 in the morning again and I haven’t left the smoky room. Flashing red lights guide my escape as I try to get up from the rugged couch, but it’s useless. As soon as I stand up, I get dragged back down and I fall. Turning my head, I spot the orange glow of the cybernetic eye, before smoke fills my vision again. I hear mechanic lungs exhaling, as I take a deep breath and try to remember.

How did I get here? The woman with the implants, she’s my friend, right? I feel the warm touch of her hand. She has to be my friend, that’s the only explanation. Unless…unless she’s an android. No, that’s not possible, it couldn’t be possible. Angel is off tonight, she isn’t here, I can’t ask for help. I’m lost and alone, among so-called friends. She’s not the only one here, the girl with the eye, I can barely feel two or three guys on my left, but I’m too tired or too frail to turn my head and look. I hear their laughing though. I wish I could blow my brains out, the red flashing lights are too much for my poor processor to understand, and it hurts.
I raise my hand in protest, as I try to whisper something to the girl, but nothing comes out. Nothing, I’m powerless to their torture.
   
He has passed out. Again. I keep trying to wake him up, but he opens his blue eyes up, gives me a dumb, scared look and tries to say something, then he looks away, and falls back into his slumber. I’d wake him up, but he’d repeat the same things all over again, so I turn my eyes towards the other two guys. I still don’t know their names, but the night is still young. New pairs of eyes await me, but I get up and take the pack, leaving behind the room. The hallway is less smoky. He’s sleeping peacefully, probably, but this time, I’ve chosen to leave him behind, along with the other two. He is a liability, and I know, that if he was in my position, he would have done the same.

Last edited by teacherovi (2019-06-03 23:47:16)

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2

I have to say I love the way you write and how unique your style is. You create in a few words this world full of mysteries in such a dynamic way and it's beautiful. Great work!

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3

Its very good but I don’t really understand how everything is connected. I feel like I’m being trown in this way too fast, but maybe that is the point. Very good job but it would help if you would clarify things first.

Last edited by Ihavenoideea (2019-09-22 18:37:49)

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4

I really enjoyed the story, yet I find it very confusing when you haven't read something that comes before or after tgese part of the action. In my opinion, the idea should be transformed into something bigger, something we could read just to enjoy ourselves. But overall, I find the idea and the change of the point of view very interesting. I am looking forward to read your work in the future!

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