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The Disease

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This is a story of a damned man and his tragic story of an illness that killed him. But don’t be fooled because death is never the end.
Everything starts with a rainy day in the beautiful town. Caleb didn’t get out of his house often, but when he did, people were sure to give him the dirtiest and most disgusted looks. To be straight forward, he could very easily be mistaken with to a vampire. His skin was a white yellowish, here and there some green and purple showed, just to make the sick look even more accentuated. But his eyes, his eyes were such a deep violet they were black. Even his black hair looked slimy and dirty. Some of the neighbours used to take their children inside when they saw him.
Sadly, Caleb,[incepe cu un adverb/linker] Caleb was ill and for sure dying. But he didn’t actually care. For him, it was a good thing, a great thing actually. But that day, something made him question that feeling. And by something I mean someone. A girl. What caught his attention was the black hair she wore, with a red ribbon, long on the waist. With her black and somehow curly hair and deep blue eyes, she looked like a black swan. He got closer and closer and as he walked to her, he could now see the same white skin and black eyes. Caleb could see how sad she looked when he saw him too. Now he wasn’t the only one dying, and that thought made his heart ache. He quickly fell in love with the girl. They spend spent their few days together. But as they went by, the inevitable happened and they both soon died.
But However, [repeti "but" prea des]as I told you, the story doesn’t end here, but it rather starts. Caleb and Ella were separated as Ella was chosen to go to heaven and while Caleb ...had been.. cast-off into hell. But as grief and anger gathered in his heart, he started to plan his revenge. One day, a hooded man came to his house deep in the darkness of the underworld and knocked on his door. The man opened only to reveal the face of a million souls. But fear was long lost, now, his mind only hate and sorrow.

”Let’s make a deal” he spoke as many voices echoed. He handed Caleb a gun. ”You kill for me a thousand bad people and you, a good soul, can go to your lover.” He stared at him, and the look on his face made him smile.

”I’ll do it,” Caleb told him sharply and grabbed the gun.

So, Caleb went out of his house once again, but today with a big smile and a purpose. ..The.. first shots were as easy as he imagined. Somehow he enjoyed punishing those who ...have.... wronged. He killed criminals and the most wanted murderers, always counting backwards how many more fires till he could see Ella again. But, as Caleb started to .......come short of bullets, he started to feel as ...if... he was sick once again. He was tired and his hands were shaking now. His heart stopped beating and he could barely aim now. He knew he had to continue, but now, nightmares followed him everywhere he went. He felt sick once again. Caleb felt remorse for the first time when the bullet with the number 999 hit. He couldn’t even get up as tears fell down his face and realised what he had done. And everything, everything was just to see that blue eyes and black hair once again. So, he glanced as a man passed by. He could see the kids he ....has..... stolen... from his parents, the lovers he ......has...... left mourning. He made a last effort as the boy felt his body fail him and pointed the gun. Pointed at his head. And pulled the trigger.
As the last bad man fell into darkness, a girl in heaven cried as he saw her Romeo die by the deadliest disease ever knew by men. Love.

Last edited by galactic_traveler (2019-05-25 21:19:00)



carpe the fuck diem
very interesting love story, although it would have been better if it was more fleshed out? I mean, I sympathize with Caleb but Ella seems like a stereotypical female character just for the sake of a love interest. I'd say detail her a bit more, and also what sense does it make to kill murderers? In my humble opinion, killing evil men doesn't absolve you of sins, you are still murdering in cold blood, even if they are villains. But who in the end says they're evil? Who decides the innocent from the guilty? God, the devil?


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