"oh no!!" i whispered to myself when the leash broke...

everyone has family reunions, at least i do, and they're entertaining as heck... a lot of weird elder ladies come and smooch me with their old moist toothless mouths and squish my cheeks like they're some anti-stress balls. also, my uncle bob is always fricking sleeping and snoring extremely loud, while my mom is reassuring is assuring 30000 times that every fragile thing in our house is safe and if whether the guests are fine, even though she doesn't really care and they are probably sleeping or gossiping. now let's talk about me: hi i'm liza and i own a lizard. u read it right. i own an effing lizard. why? because my brother dicky bought it for me for my birthday because he thought it matched my name the best. i don't even want to think of what options i have for my payback. it's a 7-foot Asian Water Monitor Lizard, so it's not that small and unobservable, so  and every time they come over i have to lock it in my room. yay me!!
so let's get to the actual story(that happened last Christmas): so the relatives were at my place (maybe for the last time ever, after all that happened). we had taken dinner, and everyone was having their siesta, which means they were sharing memories and all of that kind of nostalgic stuff (it was a Christmas miracle to see them act politely). everything was too nice to be real. of course i have a short ass memory, so i forgot to lock the lizard. it also has a big tail, so it can open doors easily (they're so fricking smart, i just got attached to it because sometimes it's smarter than even a dog).
so we were sitting in the living room, until i went upstairs to check the lizard. it was walking freely on the hallway... i was just shook. for some reason it had the leash on. i tried to pull it back, but the lizard itself is extremely heavy, so the leash just broke. stupid leash, or stupid girl, it was just a dog leash. then i whispered to myself "oh no!!" and had nothing to do about it. when i arrived in the living room, the table was already flipped upside down. everyone was screaming with fear and everything just became a loud mess. some ladies even had their hair extensions fallen out and my uncle remained with no glasses and a half of his tie.
nice one, lizard!! i'm really so not proud of you!! mom tried to donate it to some adoption center, but no one accepted it. and we both got grounded. while sitting with no phone i just started thinking... where did my brother actually get it? maybe he was high as f%$@ on some street and found it in the trash, idk...

so yeah, this is my story of family reunion

Last edited by highbrowdaisy80 (2019-03-27 20:09:31)