A waste of time

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Share12018-10-21 23:39:14

Posted by: workinprogress404

Usually, I am a perfectionist. That means I am also organised. I like having precise plans and schedules, but right now it’s hard to get back on track after this long period of being a mess.
For some reason, since I started the eighth grade, I ~~suddenly couldn't~~ haven't been able to focus on anything anymore and I've started wasting a lot of time. I'd start doing something, then brag about how hard it is, just so that I'd finish the stuff I had to do hours later. I have to admit, most of it was my fault. I didn't know how to manage all the work I had to do. I got very tired at some point and my whole schedule kind of collapsed. I used to sleep a lot after I arrived from school. Basically I did the most of my schoolwork at night, then I ~~was sleeping~~ slept a couple of hours in the morning, around 3-4 am.
It was chaotic and as the exam was near, I was drained of any kind of energy. I really worked a lot to get the best grades. After the last ~~simulating~~ mock exam, I thought it ...was...... really worth worthed it. I got very good grades and I was extremely proud of my hard work. I had the same crazy schedule after this, but I didn't regret it. I told myself this whole situation would make sense after I'd will take the exam and see the results. Well, expected or not, it wasn't quite like that.
The exam results came and I was quite disappointed of myself. They weren't very low, but not as high as I felt they had to be. All the nights spent studying, all the extra homework, all of it... I started to see it as a complete waste of time. I felt that it was all so pointless; I didn't even sleep or eat properly because I was trying extremely hard to get... What?
Now, months after that, I ...had..... changed my mind a little bit. I ..had..... figured out I was quite dumb to push myself to that much of a limit for some numbers on a paper. Life is so much more than that. And I really forgot what life is was at that time. I'm still not sure if it was a waste of time or not, but it sure made me realise that I should never do that ever again: forget about everything around me, and even myself.

Last edited by workinprogress404 (2019-01-28 10:46:14)

Share22019-03-23 18:43:01

Posted by: Greenwich

You know, after reading your text I realized that your user name fits perfectly with the situation you were a while ago. I'm glad you eventually learned something important from all of this . I hope you no longer have to deal with that kind of situations where time management to still represent a problem for you. And above all, I hope you will not encounter any more errors along the way.

Last edited by Greenwich (2019-03-25 20:57:00)

Share32019-04-12 10:03:33

Posted by: othellos78

Well, firstly, I would like to tell you that you aren't the only one who went through something like that- the chaos before the exam. Sometimes I felt that everyone surrounding me wanted me to collapse, it was as if teachers were giving so much homework on purpose, our family constantly reminding us about the exam. But you know, after the beginning of the 9th grade everything started to fall back in its place, to come to normal in other words and I hope that you also experienced it. But I can't promise that the chaos won't come again, it is more important how we deal with it!
I am really glad that you came to the conclusion that life is much more than just school and numbers on a paper as you said. Please don't forget that!!

Share42019-05-24 01:04:04

Posted by: sans.

Hey there. While reading this, I felt like you wrote these things about me. I experienced just the same things as you did, but what's important that you're trying to get back on track. We all can get a little distracted by our own frustration, after all, we are teenagers and over-thinkers and it's normal to have a hard time dealing with that.
Also, it's a good thing to be a perfectionist but just don't take it to an extreme. You don't have to view a bad grade as a disappointment, but as a motivation for you to learn and grow, be better in what you're doing.
I'm very bad at dealing with stress myself. Sometimes it feels like the stress is taking over me but what you need to do is to try to find the source of the stress and think if it's really worth it.
I'm glad that you realised that life insn't about school and grades, but it's about growing, just like a flower does.

Share52019-05-26 17:26:54

Posted by: yimsik

I feel you. At some point, it's really hard to keep working and use all the time in your advantage, it is not hard to reach the top, but to stay there. The same happened to me when I got for the first time in High School, it was very hard to organise my time and to use it in my favour. But those problems don't come through night, it's something inside you which is causing it and the sad fact is that you have to deal with it all your life. In such situations, you need to be surrounded by friends who always support you and are proud of your achievements. As you mentioned, that exam sucked all of your energy and I am happy you realized that you don't have to push yourself to that much of a limit. Life is really more than that and it wasn't a waste of time as you learned something from this experience.

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