English Forum at "Mihai Eminescu" High School in Iasi

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You are here » English Forum at "Mihai Eminescu" High School in Iasi » Unusual » A day of surprises


A day of surprises

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Finally arrives the  long awaited day,my birthday. I waited for this day an year. When I wake up in the morning, start by smiling. Outside,the sun ... shine.... and I'm happy,because yesterday ...... rained. But it's normal,my day is in  november.
As I came home from school,with my best friend,my parents ........ wait... for me for give me a present. I ask... myself what ... is. I open... the box and I find a journal. I ..... dream... of for long time. Together with the journal come the pencils,washy tape and funny stickers. Thrn with my friend,we go to the room and we play a game. But it gets some boring,after some time. My parents open the door and tell ..... that we have to go. My friend go to home and with my parents,I go to a bowling ring,where we play bowling. My father wins the first time, but at the second time me and my mother have some score. It was a great surprise! We go afterwards eat at the fast food and then we go home. Tomorrow I have to go to school and i still ....... the homeworks. L love surprises! ........ Only an year left until my next birthday!

Last edited by teacherovi (2018-10-16 13:04:30)

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Hello there! Umm, I think your story is a bit shorter than it was expected to be( 300 words). Anyway, there are some grammar mistakes like " the sun shine"(which has to be SHINES), " my parents wait for me"( they HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ME, it was happening before you got home and still does), " for give me ...."( TO give me...) etc. Pay attention to it cause those mistakes may show other people your lack of grammar. All in all, the plot is quite good, maybe you should have developped a bit what's happening at the bowling. I hope I helped you with my advice! :-)

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