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You are here » Teacherovi's English Forum » Practical stuff » You got lucky


You got lucky

Posts 1 to 6 of 6

1

There was once a boy named Troy. He was part of a very poor family. He lived in the basement of a building with his mother, father and sister. They were sleeping on an old mattress that they found near the dumpsters. Their clothes were very thin, broken and dirty, and outside was winter. It was very cold. They did not even have something to eat. They tried every day to find something to earn some money, but because of the way they looked, no one even received them to sweep the streets. They did not know what they could do, they did not get help from anyone, and they finished every day with the empty stomachs.
One day, Troy strolled along the street. The wind was blowing very loudly. There was a storm coming. From the swirling dust and rubbish flying, all created by the wind, a paper stuck to Troy's face. He took her to see what it is. It was a ticket to the lottery. Blank. That gave him great hope. He ran quickly to his "house" to show them to his parents. He asked a person on the street to borrow a ball pen and he quickly selected a row of numbers. He glanced at a man's newspaper and watched when the lottery draw would be broadcast. The next day she went to an electrical appliance store and with some luck one of the TVs was open on the lottery program. He waited with suspense and emotion the row of winning numbers. He carefully watched every number on TV. Until the last one. And all fit! He had won the grand prize! $ 2.8 million! When he went to pick up the prize, the people there laughed at him, they thought he was joking. When they saw the ticket they were totally amazed.
Today, Troy and his family live in a villa and have everything they might want. But it is very important that they have not forgotten where they left. Every time they meet a person without money and house, they help him with great devotion.

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2

For some people, your story can be considered a cliché. It's a little sad that I'm in that category of people. I think if it were the story in a novel, I would have liked it more, but now it's like reading the novel's summary. The end was unexpected for me. All the people who know that they have become rich "overnight" have come to abuse that fortune. But your story contains an important lesson, namely: let's never forget where we left.

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3

I think your story is nice. Mostly I liked the end of the story. The fact that that family didn't forget where she left is admired. Some people when they get money start to think more important, they start to think superior others.

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4

The thread of the story seems to be broken out of a movie, the boy just finds one of those tickets on the street and then he just won it.. Nevertheless, your story is a cute one, especially that the family help poor people now! :)

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5

I love the idea of the story!!! And thank you for describing the weather, it actually helps the reader put everything in a scene in their head, and it makes the writing longer ;) I like the fact that the plot twist is so fictional yet so real, because that could happen to someone in one day. It's a nice writing with no complex structures, which still describes a lot. I love it!

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6

I like your story and how you write. I live the ending part because is different from most of the stories with this topic.
Keep writing! You are a good writer :)))

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