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You are here » Teacherovi's English Forum » Problems » how not to spend your batchelor party


how not to spend your batchelor party

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"Ahem"... The man rose from his chair, prepared to make a toast, with his face burning red. If you could've had seen seen him you would have figured that he had eaten [continuous aspect] been eating a lot (the wee crumbs on his mustache gave him away) and had had been having[continuous aspect] a lot of fun with the other 3 men, all looking just as funny after all those endless, countless shots. He was unsteady and almost knocked his chair down while standing up.
" We ....have.... had toooooooo many drinks, mates!" he continued. His eyes gave a curious blink blinking  wink to his best man sitting at his right, who was now trying to count all the empty, small glasses surrounding him.
"I say we have more!!! Who's with me?!" said another man sitting at the far end of the table. His name was Jean. The group roared in response to his proposal, trying to suggest that they really wanted more.
"...eleven, *blurp*, twelve, *blurp*, fifteen..."
"No no no no no no no, we shall stop h-here! Now can anyone show me where the exit of this maze is??? 'Cause I can't s-seem to-to-to find it!"
"What's this old man saying? I cannot even hear my own thoughts". He broke into a hysterical laugh. He was the eldest of them. After some time has had passed from that night, he often said that he felt guilty because he should have been the one who drank the least.
"But why can"t we stay longerrr, we are having so much f-f-funn!!!!!" Jean's head dropped on to the table. The table shook and all the glasses dropped loudly on it, confusing the best man who was still counting. "Wait... did I reach 23 or 32? I have never liked maths ... probably that's why"
"STOOOOOOOP! Come on... we really should get going". The man who was still standing was the one who spoke and, of course, the bachelor. He truly felt hopeless: he was very drunk, and to top it all off his friends were worse if that was possible. However, his salvation came from the most unexpected place. A man came out of the bushes, complaining about the noise. Tony, the bachelor, couldn't understand a lot because of the background noise, which Tony seemed to take no notice of.
"I am disturbed... want... enjoy this festival..., not you!!
"AAAAA... the festival! Yes, I recall now", said the best man, Roby. Are we still there?"
"Dude", said the concerned man "you need... out of here... police... arrest you... not allowed with drinks."
Tony connected the dots and said to himself: "We were at the main entrance, I was holding the tickets, Roby brought the drinks (he's always been like that) and the table", he gave a cunning smile and continued speaking to himself: " we got in, the music was awesome, we wanted to drink, Jean found this amazing hiding place... wait, who's dragging me?"
The concerned man asked for help from some strangers close by to get the 4 drunk men out of the festival and into a cab.


R: "The festival was really awesome man... I think I shouldn't have brought the drinks... They started with one of their best albums if you remember, the dancers were better picked than last year... plus there were those colours... the red... They really made an impact on the festival.
T: "I agree. People were having fun, freely dancing and singing. We should have enjoyed .......it....... without drinking."
J: "I wonder, can't we have fun without alcoholic beverages? We should re-do the bachelor party!"   
T: "I don't what to say... without Adam, God forgive him, nothing seems the same..."
J: "He was always the wisest..."
R: "And the eldest!"
The 3 men laughed a bit and then fell into a grieving, pressing silence...

[nu pare organizat cu punct culminant si concluzie: poate ar fi fost mai eficient sa avem tacerea mai devreme, apoi ceva rezultat din ea, apoi sa punem iesirea si taxiul, apoi ceva concluzii despre urmarile petrecerii; inca ceva: mai putin dialog, doar unde vrei putin dramatism, mai multa descriere a gesturilor si a personajelor]

Last edited by othellos78 (2019-05-31 18:46:00)

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hi!! nice story, and veeeery cool description at the very beginning. however, you did not actually describe a music festival as i (at least) see it. i'm pretty sure there are no old men that drink, i think there are more teenagers and young adults that drink and take drugs. i don't say my version is better, but yours seems to me a bit less likely to happen. it's okay though, i enjoyed reading it and imagining the characters!!

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